What the hell is a touch monkey?

So, I'm thinking about suing the weather.

Hear me out. Every year I look forward to one time and one time alone. I'm not saying it's a perfect time by any means (School starts then) and I'm not saying it's the only good time (Cooler summer days where no one goes to the pool and I can read all day and spring days where there is snow on the ground but it's like 60 degrees out and you can see green grass are great too), but it's the time I most look forward too. What is this time of the year? Why, crisp, grey autumn days. I love walking outside and getting nipped by the cold, but still being able to combat that nip with just a sweater and jacket. I love the look of the sky, a deep grey cloud cover with large patches of blue sky, constantly moving. This sky, contrasted against the brilliance of the leaves is pure magic. And what has happened this year? The weather has cheated me. They've given me the colors I like, but they throw me sticky, warm days, rain, and no crisp, cloudy days. They're out to get me. And this has caused me much emotional distress. I can't concentrate, I can't sleep, and I''m having trouble reading sheet music. Someone is going to take the fall. And that someone is Weather.

She'll be hearing from my lawyer soon.

Oh, and we got a house for next year. 713 Springfield. Urbana. Illinois.

This IS a disco.